Hello Wishbone. Kudos on being clean for over 3 weeks and waiting to post before you had a couple of weeks behind you. You’re more likely to be on the right track now than you would have been if you came here in despair the day you gambled and announced you’re done gambling (like I and many others have done in the past only to soon fail bitterly).
As for your suicide plans, I don’t feel competent to comment, but they do say that people who just barely avoided accident or had near death experience get a completely new perspective on life. So, here’s to your new gamble free start and life.