Hello Kensakus and welcome to the group. I am sure you are reading stories similar to your own on the other threads here in the forum. You will also be reading the success stories – what are they doing that you could apply to your own situation?
The most important thing for any of us ti to is to use the support that we have available,; if we could do it on our oen then we wouldn’t be here in the first place!
Keep posting here, keep up your counselling, maybe check out GA meetings in your area. Keep posting and let us know about the positive steps you are taking.