Hello Batjka, well done on looking for help. Read the other stories here, you will see a lot of things that you will relate to. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?
If the one question you have is “Why did it happen to me?” Then you might not find that here. I am a compulsive gambler, my brother can gamble normally. Why me and not him? I have no idea. The important question though, especially at this stage, isn’t the “why?” it’s the “What can I do about it?”
Are you still in the UK? If so then you hae a lot of support available to you when it comes to stopping gambling. Other countries do to.
Keep posting and let us know the positive steps you are taking.