Hi Lauwtjee. It is good to see your name on here, too. It was good to meet you in the group. Now I know some more about your story. I think you will also get replies here from other members who will share ideas with you. Gradually you will find a way forward – it is good that you are taking positive steps to recognize the problems and to seek ways to recovery.
I’m sure you would agree that gambling to make money does not work. Perhaps that is a good place to start – try to get that message firmly in your thinking. Ask for help to do that – by writing about the urges when they come etc and hearing what others have to say to encourage you to resist those urges.
I notice you said that you did not think about gambling while you had no money, but when your money came in, you did. So it could be useful to have someone you trust to manage your money for a while. It looks like your mother would not be able to do this – is there someone else?
I wonder if you would benefit from speaking to someone on the Live Helpline too, when it is open. You will see it noted on the web page.
Anyway, I think you are doing well in seeking help and you will find you can make great progress.
Very best wishes,
Monique