Hello Vicky, I think I can relate to some of what you are going through. I see your husband has only been gambling for 2 years that you know of.
I just left my husband and he’d been gambling for the whole of our relationship. He had his first gamble of the new year 6 days (new year new start) in and I was gone the next week. I was a broken woman on the verge of a breakdown. It was coercive and it was abusive and it was a dirty secret.The first time he stole some jewellery to pawn, I called Gamblers Anonymous and they told me to get him out as fast as I could. I never did and have paid for it ever since. I had some time away from home for some of last year and I felt like I was on a detox. When I got back I didn’t see him gamble (online gambling) for 6 weeks. After that it was back to the same old same old. But it felt like I’d had a relapse and that I was the one with the problem. I came to a realisation I wasn’t helping him and I had to protect myself. It’s a horrible feeling to know that you can no longer trust the person you love. It sounds like you are probably doing stuff for him that he is quite capable of doing himself, which takes time and energy away from looking after your own and your children’s needs. Unfortunately, while your husband may well feel guilty and shameful and says he knows what he’s doing to you and the family, the gambling monster will always put its needs first, it really does not care about you and while it controls your husband, he will never be able to love you the way you want. I sincerely apologise for being so blunt and direct. But I’ve been where you are and then some, but I don’t have children. Only you know what the right decision is to make and perhaps you need extra support to make an informed decision. You may have done this already but have you contacted Gamcare (you can be assessed for counselling by them) or the National Problem Gambling Centre? I hope you find the help and support you need. Do you really want to be doing this in 10 years time?
