Hello,
I’m glad your partner is supporting you through this. It seems like you are similar to me in gambling a lot of money over a short period and long period. The lucky thing is you’re 22 years old and can stop now and have this problem behind you in just a few short years. You can have a great life still and this can be a small bit on the radar 10-20 years from now. But you must quit!
You will ruin your life further if you do not stop.
My thoughts to you would be:
1. Turn over all finances to your partner if they aren’t a gambler.
2. Ban yourself from all websites and casinos
3. Get gamble block for your computer and phone.
4. Go to GA and get a sponsor to talk to. It does help and although the sessions seem like a pain to go to you feel somewhat refreshed and better afterwards. Try one and let me know what you think
5. Forgive yourself and let go of the past.
I also feel like I am another person when I gamble. The logical person can’t listen to the gambler. I have cost myself so much by this horrible disease. You don’t; want to do that my young brother.
Best.