I was just admitting to myself the other day that I have begun to have feelings of inadequacy when dealing with others that I live near and work with. I was not one to want all that others had because it came with horrible shame. I come from a lower middle class family that aspired to be upper middle class at one point and then an accident changed the life of my family. We lost most of what we had and had to work very hard (my parents did) to try to gain it all back. They were not successful and it was a drain on both of my parents who worked tirelessly to try to have what was just out of their reach. I was determined at that time not to ever be like that. We were not any happier before the accident than after, and the only real misery was in trying to be what we were not.
n My neighbors just started putting in a grand bricked plot at the front of their house. A little off scale, but it is new. I felt pangs of jealousy and envy. I cant afford to do that at this point without incurring serious debt. I questioned my feelings. Why am I jealous of something that I dont think necessary or even desirable? I believe that my gambling has,left me feeling insecure about who I am, and that with time, and effort, I won’t feel that others are better than me and hence, wont feel the jealousy as strongly. Could it be that how you feel about yourself leads you to need false representations of who you really are? Loving yourself will lessen the need for the finer things that give others a quick glance of your worth. Know your value and it doesnt matter what others think.
