One day at a time, just for today, I’m sure there are other similar catch phrases, but the point is you need to begin each day with the idea that every day is day 1, right? You wake up in the morning, brush your teeth, and say to yourself, I’m a non-gambler today. The positive form of Groundhog Day.
You search out those relapse ideas, like starting to squirrel money away, or hanging onto checks that should be going to your spouse for deposit, and act on them, immediately. Tell someone what is going through your head. Tell them you are afraid you may relapse. My problem with relapse has always been the inability to call someone, to tell someone, to reveal the plan that is hatching in my brain. If I could only find the courage to make that contact with another human, at that critical moment, I would not relapse.
My problem has always been complacency. I get very comfortable with life, feeling really good after a few weeks or a few months, then I get the itch, and I cave in to it without making a call. That’s why I need to think about my recovery every morning, and really search out any of those itches, and nip it in the bud before it takes root as an idea, a plan to gamble. Being brutally honest with myself.
For me, once I have a plan to gamble, it’s almost like I feel as though I have already committed the act, and I begin telling myself there is no turning back now. I will from now on, each morning, do a self check- do I have an itch developing into an idea? even maybe? That’s the time I make the call to a friend, not just after I have gambled and have already fallen apart and failed.