Thanks for posting was hoping to hear from you today.
What you have said makes so much sense, I was very similar.
My main problem was exactly the same in that although it was not everyday when I did I carried on until I had nothing left. There was no rational thought but I would not give it up until I could not physically get money to carry on.
The days I didn’t gamble I honestly believed it was not a problem but then did the cycle again.
I carried on like this for so long and ultimately realisation came when I had nothing left to lose and hit rock bottom. I honestly wish I had recognised that I had a problem and to deal with it sooner as I wouldn’t have hit the bottom.
Don’t get me wrong I don’t look back and regret this all the time. It is what it is but I would never want to see what happened with me happen to anyone else.
Coming clean saved me and I honestly believe that I just wish I had done it sooner.
It seems you have the choice now. Do whatever is right for you of course but I honestly believe by coming clean you will interrupt the cycle and things will start to change.
Keep being positive.