Hello Trucker,
Its great to see you are doing well today and having a positive attitude definitely helps out. There were a couple of things that I have to share with you, and the first is that BIG win we were speaking of. Well, just to give you a little background on me, I’m a sports betting addict and I have been betting on sports for about 10 years. I can honestly say the ultimate high of my life was a sports bet (wow that sounds terrible) but it is true. I asked you the other day what the chances would be of you hitting it “BIG” and actually walking away; and I did that because there was a time when I placed a 3 team parlay bet for 1.5k and turned it into 10,500 all in one night. I can’t begin to tell you how nervous I was when that last came was completed. Ironically, I was working a second job at the time (to pay for my gambling addiction) and I was following the game on my computer as i paced the store in the final seconds of the game. I hit it BIG (at least big enough to get me out of debt a little bit) but you know what, I can admit that I never saw 1 damn dime of that money. In fact, it was all lost within a week. When that happened, I realized I had a huge problem and I have told myself over and over no matter how much I win, there is a 99 percent chance I will give those winnings back plus more!
You also made mention of being jealous of normal people and you wish you were normal. Well, brother, to be honest, I don’t think anyone is normal and I firmly believe everyone is fighting some type of battle. Ours just happens to be gambling. Thats our battle. A lot of people have issues that they are never willing to confront, like you are with gambling. And quite honestly, I look at my addiction like this; yes I could be so much further ahead in life if I didn’t gamble and things most likely would be much better in general. However, I believe tough times help us develop into people of great character. Is lying, cheating, stealing and all those things in order to gamble a representation of someone with great character? Absolutely not ! But when we get through this, we will be better people in the end. These tough times will make us into better people. So yes we could wish to be normal and have an easier life, but would that help shape us into the people we want to be? Going through an easy life wouldn’t develop any character. You can be normal with paying your bills and all those things, but I can promise you this when its all said and done, we will be better people because of this difficult time. I would much rather have that, than to live an easy life and be just “normal.” We will develop mental strength and toughness that only can be developed through tough times. Sorry for rambling but I know I am a way better person today after being free of gambling for 15 days than I was prior.
Keep posting and always feel free to reach out. Together we can do this! I’ll make my promise to you, no gambling for me today, sir.