I think it is really important that we look after ourselves when we are in recovery. I know I was picked up on for going to meetings with holes in my shoes – but I didn’t think I deserved anything better. A combination of low self-esteem and punishing myself for being so stupid as to gamble.
But as time went on, I realised that I wasn’t stupid to gamble – it was a combination of factors that led to an addiction – and illness that I needed to get better from. It wasn’t that I was a bad person – it was the behaviour that was bad not me. A bit like your child having a tantrum in a supermarket – you might hate the behaviour, but you will still love the child – perhaps more so because he or she is hurting.
So now is the time to love yourself, because you are hurting – literally from your illness, but also from the situation at home and the workload and the thoughts of what might have been had you not had that behaviour of gambling.
Yes get on with your work if you need to – but also take time for yourself when you can. Nice long soothing baths … enjoy!