Thanks michelle for your supportive reply, it really helped.
My GP has continued to sign me off work as I have been really low. I have had no direct contact with my ex for just under 2 weeks and that has helped but imagine my shock when I have started to find out about more lies he is telling and now they are about me.
So, I have stayed away from social media, I have not text or called my cg, I have been serious about my recovery and doing what I can to move on – which still hurts when I think about this last 18 months of devastation, deceit and lies, lots and lots of lies.
And now I have found out that he is absolutely making things up about me as he told someone that I had got him arrested, that he was chased down the street by the police, that he spent time in jail because of me and the reason is because I told the police that he tried to break into my house, and I feel like screaming as I write this as it is soooo untrue. I have never got him arrested as he has not tried to break into my house (I would call the police if he ever did cause me fear or alarm) but he is making out to others that I am this nasty, spiteful person when I have not done anything wrong.
He has also played the victim card and told people I am not allowing him to see his daughter because he rejected me.Oh I am so shocked by this – he got angry in my house 2 weeks ago, shouting at me and my 14 year old as I did not want to spend time with him, I did not want him to come to my sons football with us, because I was trying to back off from all the contact he was having as I was wary and suspicious again of whether anything had actually changed for him (debt letters continued at my door, asking me for shopping receipts, his presentation, my gut instinct saying ‘something wasn’t right’, yet he is saying he is being Kept away from his kids and he does not know why. AArghhh. He was nasty and horrible in my house and my kids witnessed it all. He let his daughter down, who was meant to be going swimming with him, she cried when he left and I was left to pick up the pieces -yet again.
He also has people from his work feeling sorry for him, saying how much of an honest and genuine man he is and he does not deserve to be kept away from his children and their advice is to take me to court. Oh I cannot believe who my ex husband is. Who is this man? this victim? Really.
I want to tell them all and show them the real, manipulative liar he is and all the evidence I have to prove it. It is so hurtful and frustrating that people are being ‘taken in ‘by his lies.
I feel like I have been totally conned by a man that I have loved as he has absolutely ‘played me like a fiddle’ and now when I think of the last few years, I have lived with a split personality – yet the addictive, lying and cunning one has been there a lot longer than I thought.
His acting and victim card is an award winning oscar performance as I was taken in by him too and I have realised that if he doesn’t get anything from you and there is nothing in it for him (which laterly I was doing by backing off from him and not helping or giving him anything) then you are no use to him.
I believe he is gambling, I know he tried to score cocaine again, he owes a friend money and he is living in a make believe land (who tells people they were chased by the police when they weren’t, has the drugs gone to his head or do the lies just come so naturally to him and when they are out, he believes them?)It is not right.It hurts me as I am one of the most genuine and caring people who never wanted him to be out of his kids lives but his behaviour made that happen, his shouting, his gambling, his misuse of drugs, his lies – yet now I am this horrible ex wife according to others.
Why can he not take responsibility for his actions? Be a man and tell people the truth.
I am so determined to keep him out of our lives, but i have the fear of a court battle – if he actually chooses to fight to see his kids but I dont believe he is that interested and he is just trying to look good and play the doting father card and keep himself in the victim, poor me role.
Oh I am sorry if I seem angry tonight. I have just been hurt by finding out even more information about what he is doing and saying and how this is affecting me again.As it is about me and I can’t do anything about it.
I just feel like a fool for believing in him, for thinking it could change, that he could be that good dad, think about his kids rather than himself but when you are an active addict, you are selfish, will use people, tell convincing lies and do whatever it takes to get what you want
– If only he knew how much that hurts me .