Lets face it – you have paid for it and so you don’t need to feel guilty about it. My only concern would be that if it is linked to gambling, will they be expecting you to gamble over the weekend. Obviously this will be a no-no and you may have to explain to your husband why, if you are put into this position. But cross that bridge when you come to it.
You said, “This is another kind of fear cause of whats at stake if things go wrong.” I don’t know what is at stake (are you sure you know?) but if you can accept the worst that can happen then it might help for you to take the next step. The other thing to think about is what will happen if you keep gambling. I know for me I could only see three outcomes, being down and out – homeless; prison – if I committed a crime to get the money I needed; and death by suicide or stress caused by over work!!
Being in recovery is not a walk in the park. I still have to consider that I am not like others and there are places I can’t go because I might be triggered. I’m still dealing with debts many years after stopping actively gambling and I often have thoughts of what might have been if I had not caught the gambling bug. But being in recovery is a WHOLE lot better than actively gambling and far, far better than the outcomes I outlined earlier.
I hope you have a great time away!