I felt tired, the thought to act out in different self destructive ways surface yesterday. I didn’t know the root cause. Is it due to the long working hours or improper rest, or was it due to the diet. I was totally lost.
I had played badminton with fellow recovery friends for 10 minutes on Monday, I didnt know it was also giving me physical stress and tiredness as I have not exercise for a long time. I thought this stress and tiredness comes from my long working hours or the diet.
Yes, I did have struggle with the thoughts to act out in self destructive ways but I also remember to deal with my recovery carefully and slowly…easy does it. I decided to take unpaid leave for 2 days to rest and recover.
After resting for one day and feeling fully recharge mentally and physically, I can tell the tiredness comes from the exercise with the muscle-ache more obvious today.
I do not have the wisdom, my ways doesn’t work. Thank God for helping me to let go and rest instead of trying to control and change thing.