[kin]

Dear diary
On 11 Jan 2017, I was very relaxed when I lay down on the surgical table. I was put on local anesthesia and was awake during the whole procedure. I was all cover up on the table.
I realized today that if I had lost the gamble a few hours earlier, I would be in a regret, remorseful and self-beating mode, that would be terrible, I will likely be thinking about how I am going to repay all the bills on the surgical table. I will not have the peace of mind while I get cut open by the surgeon.
Why didn’t I think of that!!!!!
My emotion rule me on the day, I become impulsive, and made a very risky and careless decision to go ahead and gamble.