Thanks idi. Bit emotional today in trying to deal with my problems. Remember, there are no magic wands here for my situation.
On the positive side
Due to Intense political pressure, the chancellor in his budget made some reforms to the univdrsal credit system. This w t impact on me and they still have not gone far enough in abolishing the bedroom tax, but no 8 week waits, it will be a 5 week wait and can apply for a repayable loan from day 5. 7 day waiting period scrapped. This means that rent is not paid for the first week of a claim so this puts someone automatically into rent arrears before they even start. So that had been scrapped. It is only under the most intense political pressure that any of these changes have been made, and in the film and the march I have been a small part of that. So it may help those coming after me.
I rang the financial inclusion team who are meant to be acting as an advocate for me on my untitled financial issues. She has diaried out next Thursday to act on my behalf. She was waiting for me to go to the council which I did a week or so ago. She is going to try and get all the arrears for council tax written off, which is unlikely. She will go to British Gas who apparently can provide a grant for bankruptcy. And most important of all, she will call the bailiffs to tell them to back off. I called the electricity who said they were about to get a magistrates order to enter the premises. They will fix a prepayment meter. But just to keep the fuel going, it will cost 20pounds per week. Now, the numbers ihave to pay per week or month just don’t add up ie more going out just on basics than coming in. I realised this and spoke to my daughter where I am going down now on my birthday for dinner. I did something quite radical for me. All along my family have acknowledged how bad things are for me. Head in the sand. Someone could literally be dying and they’d say, oh but your ok. So I asked her to watch the film and get the boys to watch the film. My daughter did watch it and was shocked. So watch this space to see if there is any response. I cried for a while after this because this is what it is taking and I feel so sad about that.
I am about to text my sponsortossysill not be attending GA tonight. My problems are so great just to survive in this world that the complacency of the boys club is more than I can deal with and as already documented the Step work has created an additional layer of upset that iam not equipped to handle right now. I am trying and it is so hard. I am glad ihave this journal as a document for how it is for me, and how it is is very difficult indeed.
