You have taken the first step in addressing your problem by admitting it here, well done Jezi.
We have all had thoughts of ending it all – at some point when we were gambling … I think that it is a wish to end our “gambling life” and you CAN do this with support. You need to get help locally, call a helpline for GA or similar, or speak to someone in your family, or (if that is too difficult at this stage) a trusted friend.
You will at some point need to come clean with your family – no more lies – but as you construct your gamble free live there will be less and less need for them.
Right now – support is what you need – come to group meetings here – talk about what is going on for you and start to make a new gamble -free life for yourself. I wish you well.