Dearest Monica,
I’ve missed you too but understand sometimes feeling unable or not wanting to chat. When I am stuck in a bad time with my back I feel like I’m always a constant complaining record to my loved ones and friends. I get sick of hearing myself sometimes with the same sad stories. People who understand can provide a distraction. We can find humour wherever possible. What about going out to a comedy with your son? One thing I haven’t heard you mention (and maybe I’ve missed it) is a girlfriend. Do you have a friend that you could go out with even to a coffee shop? Someone who is upbeat and would just be good to have a laugh with? Gambling made me isolate and withdraw from friendships. Your current poverty state may be having that same affect as well. I hope you can just find a way for human connection and a laugh. Ever happen at your GA meeting? We used to have a few. And cake with every one year milestone. It wasn’t all sadness and grief. Sorry Mon, rambling!
How to recover energy…. Well, I am on a few very basic supplements that when we are low on them they tend to affect our energy at the most basic level. One is vitamin D. The other is Magnesium Glycinate. Also, because I tend to take a lot of antibiotics I am on a probiotic which can also help with gut issues. Would a family member be able to provide you with the funds for some of these basics from a natural foods store? I found the magnesium really improves my energy levels and I notice when I’m not taking it within a few days. Trying to get yourself into a more proper sleep rythym may help as well. Sleeping through most of the daylight and being up all night probably has an affect as well.
I’ve been trying to get this post out since yesterday! I hope you are doing ok Monica. Your stomach issue sounds on the nastier side. Don’t let it go too long without intervention. Thinking of you.
Laura