Dear Stacey
You are not going crazy Stacey – far from it. One thing I am sure of is that you will cope and I will do everything I can to help you do so.
I will try and answer some of your concerns and then I want you to sit down with a cup (or glass) of whatever you enjoy the best, breathe deeply and just deal with ‘today’ because worrying about ‘tomorrow’ will not help you sleep or care for your children. If he is accepted on the course it will be how you behave that will make the world a safe place for them.
The programme works if the CG dedicates himself to it and the best way to get strong dedication is that those who love them wish them well and don’t fall apart or over-stress about the time apart. It is the unknown that you are afraid of but all the unknowns are in tomorrow and you can ‘only’ worry about ‘today’. Today you are happy, so enjoy today.
The time away, in my view, is a drop in the ocean compared to a life-time struggle with an addiction.
I am not going to write about when he is away because that is in ‘tomorrow’ so for tonight I just want you to be happy. When he is accepted I will walk with you for the whole programme and it is then that we can deal with every ‘what if’ as it happens.
As I have said to you before I hear the strength in your posts which is just what your CG needs.
I feel I have to warn you that your CGs addictive behaviour might (and I do only mean ‘might’) get worse before he starts the programme. The final scream of the addiction, as it fights for it’s survival, is not general but it is not unknown.
I hope to hear good news soon but in the meantime look after you and your children.
Thinking about you
Velvet
