Dear Jenny
How I long for the day I hear that your tears have stopped. I know they will but this is so tough for you at the moment and all I can offer is my thoughts.
Do you have a date yet when custody is to be sorted out? I had a Guardian ad litem appointed to see my 3 very young children and I remember the sick fear when she spoke to them alone. I knew I had said nothing that was untrue and I had never run their biological father down to them but it was so very scary. The report when it came out though was so accurate – the bio father had done the damage all by himself and it had not taken her long to establish this.
I remember my father saying ‘please don’t get bitter over this’ – he knew someone whose bitterness had shown in her face and in her life and he didn’t want it for me. I can honestly say that I have not been bitter and my children and I went on to better things – as you will.
I am so glad you are encouraging your children to talk to you and others. Misunderstanding accrues when thoughts have nowhere to go.
I seldom cry anymore because I believe that F&F can always come through and out the other side no matter what but I felt such pain when I read about your 9 year old daughter talking to her teacher.
How glad I am to read that you kicked ‘shame’ into touch and through all your tears you have written the Serenity Prayer with the word Courage in capitals. It does courage to get through and it does take acceptance. Your long period of suffering has not brought you to your knees – you are amazing.
I think all F&F would agree with you that it is dreadful that there is not more done for those who suffer from living with the addiction to gamble and I would include those who own the addiction in that as well. I remember being told by a member of GA that the ‘anonymous’ bit meant that they didn’t publicise the problem with gambling to protect anonymity – I don’t know if this is still true. I know how difficult it was for me to find anybody who understood what I was saying and yet I can spot it now (and have done so) with friends and acquaintances. The only upside appears to be slightly more mention these days in plays and discussions on radio and television.
Life is dreadful for families who love CGs and life is dreadful for those with the addiction.
On this forum, however, our main thrust is for the families and on here you are unique and special.
I don’t know if you spotted that I am now running an F&F group between 10 and 11pm on Tuesdays as well as 8 – 9pm on Thursdays. I really hope you will pop in so that we can catch up in real time. I promise to have the tissues ready and a large glass of cyber wine or a cup of cyber tea. Your seat in the group will always be ready for you.
As Ever Jenny – my thoughts are with you
Velvet
