Day three has come and gone and I’ve just realised this morning I had no urge or even spared a thought to gambling last night! And it was payday too!
I think because I literally have no spare money now i don’t feel like just putting a little deposit on (which is usually what leads into the bigger deposits). So as desperate as I felt to chase the losses before now after all the negative feelings and literally having nothing left to gamble with I think it’s given me the platform I needed to deal with this.
It’s hard to not gamble when things are going well so when all the wins kept happening i still had in the back of my mind that I would win it all back. Until I did and then gambled it away again!
I know at the moment it feels quite easy because I still feel so negative towards it all and I feel like I have a plan. Which I suppose is why I’m keeping a journal here so I can remind myself what it was like if I do feel the gambling demon return.
I have had the ‘Thats enough, I won’t do it again’ phases before and within a few weeks started all over again. But they weren’t such big losses before and Financially I hadn’t stretched myself as much to chase it all. But when I think this time the thousands of pounds I’d easily spun away in literally one night was just ridiculous! The difference keeping those big wins would have made! But I also think if I had kept the big wins, how long would it have been before I got sucked back into the cycle of trying to win more again so I probably would have wasted it anyway and eventually got deeper and deeper!
Onto Day four and many more….