Day 8,
Feeling really good today, although I did have a pretty big headache last night on one side of my head that progressed to the other side when it woke me up this morning (first time I have woken up from a headache). I do not think this is recovery related as I have gotten headaches pretty frequently in the past.
I have been doing a lot of research on brain chemistry, specifically, what happens to someones brain when they become addicted to something. And more importantly, how to heal the brain from addiction. There is a lot of good news on this topic that will be very uplifting to everyone here, but the long story short is that the brain can recover and is constantly changing. Neurons in our brain have receptors that link together by which dopamine and serotonin travel (the chemicals that give us that “high” feeling whenever we do something pleasurable). I read that addiction is a disease in which the person addicted perceives pleasure in a negative way. This is because of all the years of repetition, it just becomes natural to us.
Now the important thing to all this is how do we go about healing ourselves? Well, we know we are creatures of habit, and when we do something for long enough, neurons form connections in our brain. The reality is, we cannot “fix” these connections. They will eventually fade away the more we do not engage in the activity. The most powerful thing you can do to break out of a bad habit is to create a new good habit. Instead of saying “I am going to stop gambling”, try coming up with a good positive goal such as “I want to pay off my debt so that I can travel the world (or some other hobby/interest)”. Urges will come, but you are strong now and recognize that these urges are part of the recovery process. You know what will happen if you give into these urges. Divert your attention to something that matters to you. Me for example, I am learning Japanese so that I can travel to Japan someday.
Closing today’s post, I know how you feel. I know it all too well. But let’s look at the other side of the coin. You are still here. You have the power to change your destiny. Here are some very useful and relevant videos that you can watch to understand what is going on here. Because as cliche as it is, knowledge is power. Thanks and have a good day.
Ted talk on addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqhzFd4NUPI
Very powerful and strong talk about what addiction is and how to heal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Z6w5IxZX2U&t=107s
Subconscious training (I did this last night and it has already shown tremendous benefits, please try it sometime): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ty6MKNLnqAo&t=2360s
–Nick