Day 6,
Still feeling fine. Honestly, I might reset the day ***** to 0 once I get paid again. The biggest urges happen when I actually have money to gamble with. It’s weird, I do have money right now, but that money is for food for myself for the rest of the month. If I were in a casino right now with my paycheck, I would spend all of it leaving myself with nothing. However, when I have money but it is for food and other necessities, I have zero urge to gamble. It’s a nice feeling really. If I can somehow adopt this mentality to money in savings or retirement, then there wouldn’t be any issues. This may sound weird, but I think one of the reasons we can’t save money as CGs is because we have this warped reality in our heads that we don’t need to save because the “big one” is coming, and all our problems will be solved. Here’s the thing, regardless of how lucky you are and have been in the past with your life, math and numbers don’t care who you are. You have the same percentage of winning as someone else, and casinos/the government do a great job of only showing us the winners and not the millions of losers.
A bit of a realization from me: I play the lottery frequently. My reasoning for doing so mostly is because if by some miracle you do win, it is life changing money. If you win in a casino, it is most likely not life changing money. Even some jackpots on slot machines are pathetic in regards of the odds to win them. Now, this is going to sound weird, but I am actually extremely thankful I have not won the lottery (yet). The reason is because I am clearly bad at managing money now, and I feel like a lot of people that do win the lottery do not have good money management skills. If I won the lottery within the last 10 years, there is no doubt I would blow a lot of most likely all of it. I can’t imagine what I would be feeling in the after math. For not winning the lottery so far, I am grateful. Some kid just won the Mega Millions here for $431 million dollars, he is 20 years old. I am always happy to see people win, and I mean that. The only thing I hope for is that they are a good person. I hope this kid has a good heart and is smart with the money.
Anyways, I hope everyone is doing well. Maybe God (or another higher power) is waiting for me to get my act together with money management before he let’s me win the big one. Delusional I know, but I’m a dreamer. Casino’s are not the place to change your life. Casino’s suck the soul out of you and I will always be against them. If I can never place another bet in a casino (in person or online), I will consider that a success. I want to get paid again so that I can really begin recovery of acknowledging urges and overcoming them. I have betfilter, there is no casino anywhere near me, it’s going to be interesting what happens, but at least I am prepared for it. Hope everyone is having a nice day.
–Nick