today gambling didnt fully consume my whole thoughts as i am full of cold and having to prepare for a shift at work tonight. i have hit day 4 WOW but i’m under no illusion, the biggest challenges are yet to come. tonight the lads will be picking their teams for tomorrow, there will be so many teams with potential goals in them and money for me. i love love love Saturday gambling but i want to love myself and my life in the same way so i have to keep going.
last night i told a few of the lads that i needed to stop and that i had joined an online group. i thought they would ridicule me (in jokey kind of way) but they were supportive, even recognised that i was chaser, i told them how much money i lost and they said to stick at what i was doing, it felt good but i also realised that they could probably relate to my problems.
i was going to pick out some teams and if they lost i would be happy that i didnt bet BUT if they win i think that would be a trigger point. i think once my bank account starts looking healthier, reality will kick in as for years i have been up and down in and out of my overdraft, whenever i get a good wage it goes on my new gambling debts.
gambling sucks
addiction sucks
new beginnings rock
time for a hot honey before work
