Day 3 and I still feel fine, however I have done a bit of exploring with my mind via role play. It is clear to me that the urges come back when I think I have money (I tricked myself into thinking I got paid again). I’ve noticed something though, the cravings aren’t just in my head, but also in my gut. It felt like an exciting nervousness hit my gut. That’s scary. I did however managed to talk myself out of it. I think it is incredibly important that we recognize we are having cravings. Once you do that and can remember what happens when you act on them, you can force yourself to do something else. For me, cravings seem to hit when I am bored. I have to keep my brain constantly stimulated it seems.
Anyways, I have installed bet filter, but I know our minds will try to find another way to get that dopamine hit. Luckily, there are no casinos around me that I can go to, and I am hoping bet filter blocks any site I go to. Another thing I want to start thinking about when these urges strike is that if I do act on them, I am betraying my girlfriend and friends/family. I am basically cheating on her. I would never betray her trust with another woman, so why is it that I feel it is ok to go behind her back and do something cynical? Gambling needs to have a negative view for me from now on. It’s exciting yes, a bunch of different emotions, but you know what else is probably exciting and full of emotions, robbing a bank, and you don’t see me doing that lol. There are many other illegal activities that I would never even give a second thought seriously that would probably give this high, that is why gambling needs to be framed as an extremely negative activity for me. Probably a bad analogy, I’m not thinking of doing anything illegal I just want to be clear on that :).
The point is, gambling needs to be framed as a horrible activity. It is not a social, fun, or worthwhile activity that the media paints it to be. It is poison for our brains, like alcohol. If anything, I want to remember the consequences of gambling when those urges strike, and I want to immediately remind myself that if I gamble, I am cheating on my friend/family and girlfriend. I am lying and being cynical. That’s not who I am deep down. That’s not who any of us our deep down. It’s time to get our integrity and character back. Hope you all have a great day.
–Nick