It has been 48 hours since my last bet, and maybe it’s placebo but I’m already starting to feel better. Some of the feelings of shame, regrets and guilt have dissipated. I feel sharp for the first time in 7 months (since 11/4/2013). It makes me wonder why I put myself through the torture all these years. I know that not every day will be like today, but today, I will enjoy a happy day.
One day at a time. That’s all I can do. I will try to post on here every day. Thank you all for reading. Thanks, Charles and Vera for the amazing support chat session.
One of the things I’d love to get people’s opinion on is sharing. I have a significant other who I love more than anything in the world. She doesn’t know about any of this. I haven’t gotten into enough trouble where anyone else knows about this. It’s been a secretive problem I’ve dealt with for 15 years. Talking about it certainly helps with the shame and guilt, but I also don’t want to change the way people view me (or how my SO views me–she is super anti-gambling). I would love to hear any story or insights about this topic from anyone. Thank you.
Please reach out to me if anyone is looking for a chat partner. I’m in US timezone so others might find it difficult.