Day 10. Yesterday was a good day. I suppose any day with out gambling is a good day. Day 10 is nothing for me because I am more of a binge gambler. Years ago it was 4-5 times a week. How I ever managed to hold a job and other responsibilities is beyond me. I suppose I thrive on stress. Now when I gamble it’s after a month or two of not (Except when on a chase than it’s 3-4 days in a row) Either way, the results and damage is still the same. My head was all over the place yesterday. I had many thoughts of gambling. I still do. However I do understand that if those thoughts turn into action, the action will only turn into misery. I can’t help but wonder if they will ever go away. It’s such a crazy cycle. Gamble, cause chaos, wonder how and why the heck i I did it, wish I would of done it different, hate gambling and the thought of it, bound and determined not to, storm passes and than start the cycle over. Seems to be the pattern of many of us here. I have to break this cycle. It’s funny how I have so much advice to offer yet it’s so hard to take my own.. No plans to gamble today. I just want God to take any and all desire away.
