I wanted to write this at the end of the day with words of completing my day 1 but the truth is i woke up knowing there’s going to be some money hitting my account very shortly and today is a great day for football. All i focus on is that feeling of placing a bet and then collecting my winnings and starting to recoup some of the losses that I’ve made over the last week. There’s been no thought of how i actually NEED that money to pay bills and tide me over until payday that if i don’t win the feelings of despair self loathe that will wash over me will consume me for hours possibly days. I have lost thousands over the years, i have a debt management plan, my credit score is ruined, i live in a flat, my wages are pretty good due to my cost of living (without gambling debts) being low yet my overdraft is maxed out and I’m selling stuff to try and pay the bills and yet i still think i can win? I’d win if i didn’t gamble as every penny i earnt would be mine. Today is going to be tough but i want to change
