Well we are on the fourth pay cycle. We had a promise that I would go to the bank with him to withdraw the money he has borrowed for train fare to work etc ( he says he still does not have a replacement card) . Monday 31 st arrived, I had altered my work day to give me time for us to go to the bank, he had said he had arranged a late shift. Surprise, surprise he informs me that his bank has contacted him to say that one of his debters have taken money out of his account illegally and that it would be Wednesday before it was sorted. Well I’ll give it to him, he can come up with some great story lines, maybe he should get a job writing for east Enders or corrie . So we are now in the position of he needs train fare again.
Yesterday when all this happened I said that we should go to the bank as planned, and that if he got a statement printed out, maybe I could believe this bizarre storyline. Of course he refused saying ” I’ll sort it ” . I reminded him that he had to provide this type of proof at GM.
Last night I told him not to ask for any money be it for train fare or whatever and that he had to take ownership and full responsibility for himself.
So this morning, he is still in bed, so I am assuming he is not going in.
Taking this action of nota giving him any money is frightening for me cos the job seems to be the only good think happening for him, he’s doing really well and has the chance of fast track training. So am I doing the right thing.
I’m going to work in a bit, but his dad is at home today. Our plan is that my husband will ask about work, and if he says he can’t go cos of no train fare, my husband will offer to run him to work on the proviso that they call in the bank for a print out statement.
I feel as though I am in a dark scary wood in the depth of night where I don’t know what is going to jump out. I feel really anxious this morning.
When all of this happened yesterday I felt physically sick, my heart was beating rapidly as if in panic mode. I felt physically unwell, it was an hour or so before I felt my body settle down.
My son has said that he feels as though our relationship is irreparable, that it will never be the same . I reminded him of how we have stuck with him and how much we have believed he can overcome this addiction, but that only he can do it. I told him we will always love him but that trust comes with time and he has to work at it. Clearly he feels low in self esteem.
He said he and his girlfriend are not together, but that they are taking things easy and still seeing each other occasionally, so what that means I don’t know.
I am hoping to check into the live chat tonight.
Any help would be appreciated, just to know we have done the right thing or not.
Hope
