Coming back to apologize for not understanding my situation two years ago and hopefully help others who may be in a similar ordeal.
When I first started this thread I was so new to being in a relationship with a GC. I’ve learned a lot. Now two years of constant ups and downs with Nguyen but the last few weeks might finally see us go separate ways.
One thing I didn’t mention before is I feel I should help those who have suffered before, my personality. I was nearly killed several times (almost drowned, two times within milliseconds of severe accident, and not too long ago beat a deadly cancer via lucky early detection). I almost killed a family member by accident too. I tend to have the attitude that I should be dead by now anyway, why not help others. Nguyen grew up in a war zone. I had two different fortune tellers tell me that she and I were lovers in a past life. Right or wrong, I feel an extreme connection to her and likewise I believe she’s sincere in loving me. We’ve never lost our affection for each other. I am always very kind to her, at least I mean it that way.
Nguyen shows a bi-polar tendency (maybe related to gambling). One day she’s really pleasant and the best person I could ever hope for. The next she’s verbally abusive no matter what I do, on and on with her mean comments. I’ve really taken a beating from her but she always calms down and we go back to lovey dovey.
When she is down and out she says really cruel things to me and about me. A constant uncertainty of never knowing when she will get depressed and attack me. I have pleaded with her to see a doctor, and she has once but the outcome didn’t change anything.
At work in her nail salon they play cards when waiting for customers. Card playing is just what they do, the game is called 13.
When I’m with her I get really productive with my work, in the creative department. I own a company and creative work always leads to greater sales. Without Nguyen I tend to not create anything but give me 5-6 days with her and I really crank out some great things.
I am guilty of saying ok Nguyen I know you love to play cards I’ll take you to the casino and give you $80 to play. Not $200 or $300 but $80. And sometimes she can stretch that out to 8 hours of playing time! But she has NEVER EVER won. Not one dollar. She plays until it’s gone.
I sold one of my properties last year probably at the peak of the market and invested in a different thing that has turned out to be better than expected. I paid off her car loan (and on that day she was in one of her bi-polar meltdown modes for no reason, you’d think she’d be happy to kiss the car loan good bye) and I’ve been helping her with whatever she needs along the way. It’s just the constant fights over nothing that causes me to not commit to a more permanent relationship, we maintain separate homes.
I kept telling her to not start a fight for just a few days (!) and she can’t do that. I am a glutton for punishment. Nguyen and I have always dreamed of starting a small business and I sincerely believe in her, she’s really sharp at business and ran a few before.
Well a few weeks ago I gave her $80 and said I’ll be back in half hour because I had to do something across town. I was just a little bit late, so what! Had she won with that $80 she would have kept playing and everything fine — but she lost before I got back to pick her up. She started sending me horrific text messages about what a terrible man I am, and she wants me to take her to her cousin’s house, etc etc. She gets really mean. I realized that every time she’s super angry to me, it has nothing to do with what I did! It’s her blaming other things on me. I had never seen this in her but it explains a lot. She gave me a half-baked apology and if I bring that up she changes the subject quickly.
I was with her for all of last week and everything was great. No gambling just enjoying life and she was more pleasant than ever. Her nephew is getting married overseas soon and we are planning to go for a one month trip. She’s moving into a new apartment soon, with roommates. The new setup will help her spend a lot less on rent and hopefully more time with me.
I know moving is stressful and she needs some help so I gave her $1100 sealed in an envelope and said absolutely DO NOT stop at the casino on the way home. She needs that money to move into the new place. I felt stupid I had to even deal with sealing that envelope and I asked her to take a picture of the money and send it to me as soon as she got home. Well what she did was disappear for 7 hours, tell me her phone wasn’t working, and I got a picture of the money on her car seat at 8:00 PM but it was clearly taken in the daylight. So she opened the envelope, took the picture mid-day, and went inside to lose all the money. But she had the picture to send me later. I didn’t buy any of it. She was home late and wouldn’t send me a picture of the money and I just feel like the last few weeks I have pulled my head out of my bum and said ENOUGH. No more of this. And by the way she pulled the same missing money trick once before.
Well I am sorry for al the rambling but if this is typical or rings a bell with others please let me know. Thank you!