Hello All,
So i just can’t stop. It’s so hard. I keep gambling away every cent I can muster.
I have blocked myself from all websites I’ve used. But there are about 2600 of those so not sure how that’s going to to help.
My mom and I are working on me turning over every way possible for me to have access to cash or credit. This sucks pretty bad. I can’t believe I can’t hold onto money at my age. I can’t believe that i am so weak and this addiction controls my every thought. I just want my life back. I can’t stop thinking about the money I lost or trying to get it back. But it always ends the same. I win one or two or three and then give it all back. Last night I deposited money into my account and literally started crying because I hated myself so much.
A forty one year old man crying because he can’t control himself.
I just hope to god one year from now I can say I’m debt free and gamble free. 2 years ago I was on top of the world. Now I feel like I want to put myself 6 feet under it.
This issue is so much bigger then i ever imagined it was. I’m also trying to quit smoking pot too.
I’m not dying I’m never gambling again or this my last day as saying those things hasn’t helped. I’m just not gambling today.
Jon