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#36328
vera
Participant

Good luck with your banking business, Laura.
It’s great to know you don’t HAVE to have the money.
I know that “nerved up” feeling very well. I still get it at the checkout sometimes, wondering will I have enough in my account to pay for groceries, but it’s a different feeling then acting like a fake.
I think that’s what got me in the end.
Having to live a fake life.
Fooling everyone including myself.
In the end the banks refused to lend me money. I had used my husband’s and sons credit union shares plus my own of course to borrow. I recall strolling through the doors nonchalantly, asking “Is the loan approved”. Nobody knew that my sanity was hanging on the answer . Such stress !
Then when I was maxed out on licit loans, I used the high interest “no questions asked” companies . For what? Christmas presents I would tell myself, but time and time again my money was passed on to fatcats for their Christmas gifts and two weeks before Christmas, I would be grovelling again looking for another loan.
What a fake life!
Not today, Laura. Thank God!
Not this Christmas!
Thanks for reminding me of the difference between now and then.