As a CG I fooled myself in countless ways! I’ve earned it! was one of the excuses I’d say to myself. If my partner sunk my share of everything into a slot machine I wouldn’t think he earned it! That’s for f*$@ing sure! It’s that twisted CG thinking.
We can ignore all the past damage and fool ourselves in whatever way we need to. All to make that next be and keep ourselves in total denial.
Don’t be hard on yourself IDI. Look at what this addiction is costing you with the rose coloured glasses off. It’s no longer fun when we realize we are just hurting ourselves in the long run.
I’m glad I’m back here remembering the lesson!