Hi JB and very well done on your efforts to overcome your problem with alcohol. Anxiety and depression may or may not be a fall out from your drinking days but your present situation as you describe it would certainly contribute to further anxiety, depression and in my opinion could put your recovery at serious risk.
As a Compulsive Gambler I am learning to steer clear of other “addicts” for fear I might use their situation to either deflect from my own problems or return to gambling as an escape if and when the tension builds as it inevitably, will if we surround ourselves by the “wrong” people.
As a nurse ( now retired mainly due to ill health which was exacerbated by the stress of gambling ) I would be very concerned about your girl friend’s cocaine habit. Every nurse has a duty of care to her/his patients. This is a major priority. I have known of some nurses who were “recreational drug users” (I abhor the term) until one day (just like a CG) they became a bit more adventurous, took a risk, lost control and were witnessed by a nurse colleague using IV medication while on duty, which was intended for patient use. Of course, because this is a criminal, unprofessional and unethical act it necessitates instant reporting, involving the police, the Nursing Board etc and which always results in the nurse losing her license. And it all started with using “recreational drugs”. There are programmes where “Addict” nurses can be rehabilitated of course. This is the worst case scenario. The less evident consequences of drug use relate to impaired judgement while on duty, following use of illegal drugs during the nurses’ free time. Add gambling to the mix and I don’t think anyone would disagree as to how serious this situation could become.
All you can do, JB, is stop enabling this woman.
Regardless of your relationship with her, regardless of how lovely she is, regardless of how it will affect her profession, her son’s education, my advice would be to use Tough Love. Sit down with her. (I’m sure you have already) Tell her what is acceptable to you. Set boundaries. Use whatever terms and conditions you see fit and stick to them.
You are being wiped out financially, mentally and emotionally. Is this fair to you?
Your girlfriend has gambling and drug problems. There are Support Groups for both. If she needs to get help she will. Maybe you are preventing her from reaching the “rock bottom” she needs to hit. The main thing that stopped me seeking help was ENABLEMENT. I knew where to turn every time I lost and this allowed me to continue to gamble/self destruct and even justify my actions.
I have reservations about the term “addiction”. Not all drinkers/gamblers are addicts and for that reason I prefer not to use the “Umbrella Term”. I have never met a drug user who didn’t end up with serious problems.
If I were in your shoes, I would consider taking a break until this woman gets help for her problems as you had the courage to seek help for yours.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the WISDOM to know the difference”.
