Monica, thank you for the information about abstinence vs recovery, that makes so much sense to me. I know at this time I’m not in recovery, I am just abstaining from gambling. I need to work on the issues as to why I started gambling. I feel like I am making small steps towards recovery but at the same time not taking the big ones, like therapy, be it individual or group. I am working towards it though and I feel that I have good barriers in place to stay gamble free. I am now on Day 27.
My husband will definitely not be supportive in recovery- he is more of the “this is your problem deal with it” kind of person. Even when I talk to him about handling bills and payments so that I don’t have access, his response is “I shouldn’t have to do that”.
This weekend was so busy with kid’s birthdays and work stuff. I love being busy as then I don’t even think about gambling. I am still visualizing some of my favorite games and the big wins but not as much. This week will be busy with work and then on Saturday we are having a small burial service for my Grandpa who passed away in March. My parents are also planning a small, immediate family service for my brother who passed away by suicide 24 years ago- they have never been able to bury his ashes and this year they are finally ready. I have committed myself to dealing with the emotions this will bring up and not avoiding/turning to gambling to shut everything out.