A truly crap day. The holiday on Denmark is over. And im back to living with myself and own failings. Missed an appointment with a telephone Councillor I am having weekly sessions with. Got my dates messed up. Luckily she phoned today and so have re-scheduled.
I have placed myself squarely back in the shitt again. Rent way over due am still a few 100 short for the due date I promised the rent by. The debts I have are quite horrendous. I have food and some money on me so I wont starve and the lights are still on. I did pay my phone / net connection. So that is a plus.
It is truly mental the situations we place ourselves in. For what ? Days and weeks of stress depression and worry. I am trying to work out if my depressed state is because of my addiction or if the addiction makes me depressed if that makes sense ?
My last session was not even enjoyable in anyway shape or form. I could not have really cared if I had won or lost. So even in that sense it was totally pointless. Futile and of course took me away from doing other things which could enhance my life not destroy it. Oh well onwards …. as we all do.