I had went over 5 months GF and started to play again in late August. I quickly lost money on online blackjack over the course of 30 minutes and then stopped for a few weeks. I then picked it up back in mid-September and over the course of two weeks actually won a decent amount of money. Like every other time before, I pushed my luck over and over again, and now after a pretty bad day yesterday (after going 7 days GF after a bad weekend last weekend) I lost everything I had recently won and additionally, am now in a bad negative position since resuming in late August.
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nI had went over 5+ months GF and it felt great not to have my mind occupied with gambling. I need to a much better of job of identifying the triggers. Re-reading my journal entries is a painful reminder that I have ways to go rid this terrible demon from my life.
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nSo, as I write this in on October 18, 2020…I hope for the thousandth time hope that I can point to this new day as the day I rid this terrible disease from my life.
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nI commend all that have been able to conquer their demons and I sympathize and empathize with those that struggle defeating this terrible habit.
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