Thank you @kin for your kind words.
It has been over a month since I played. I still thinking about it from time to time because I am still stress over my debt and every time I think about it. This evil side in me , told me that I should play. Just for a bit then I can win a lot and solve all of my debt. I was able to shut those thoughts down. I sat down and tried to remember what gambling did to my life. I tried to remember that painful day when I was thinking of ending my life because of it. The darkness and the pain it caused me. I’ve reading a few of new people who joined this forum and they are where I was about a month ago. I can almost feel the pain they are feeling because I had the same pain they have now.
It makes me sad that not a lot of people understand addiction and thought that people with addiction is weak and you can just ‘don’t do it’. When it takes a lot in us to say no , To fight the addiction. Addiction is almost like cancer to me. Not everyone can survive it because it is so smart and it knows how to trick us back to those dark place. Instead of chemotherapy or get operation to remove it. We need to use our own mind to against this and it is so hard. Though when people hear that you have cancer, they will feel sympathy for you but not us addicts. I just hope that one day more people could understand us more that We didn’t choose this. We didn’t want to be addicted to this. We are trying our best to fight this everyday.
- This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by hopelessbear.