Day 2 – After I posted yesterday I followed up with online chat to see what additional resources were available to me. I have now started the process for help from Gordon Moody. Not feeling great today. I suppose 99% of the time I’m thinking about giving up gambling I’m not really serious about it so it doesn’t really affect my mood. Now I have committed here and with GM I know it’s serious this time and it makes me sad. Sad because it makes the fantasy world of gambling harder to access and without it I feel a bit lost. It’s my go to place when I need a break from work, when I’m having a smoke, when I’m trying to sleep and, if I’m honest, what gets me up in the morning. My whole lifestyle, or lack of it, is bearable with gambling to look forward to. Without gambling – having no friends, no money, no possessions, no hobbys or no motivation to do anything else, all become much harder to deal with. All I can do for now is keep posting, remind myself I’m only two days in and hope that, in time, my thought process will improve.
Got my weekly £60 from my dad today so supermarket soon and then heavily busy with work so it looks like an all nighter could be on the way. Until tomorrow….
