Admitting defeat and surrender? Those words actually helped me at my first GA meeting. Someone told me to admit defeat to the bookies and “unconditional surrender”. They beat me, i can’t win so there was no longer a need to try and beat them by gambling. The one thing we all can’t control is our gambling once we place that next first bet.
You can stop gambling. How did you gt around your barriers? You “resisted gambling for a few days” what could you have done in those few days which would have meant you couldn’t gamble?
GA isn’t for everyone but I would suggest anyone gives it 6 otr 7 meetings before making their mind up. After all one bad day gambling never stopped us going to gamble! Many athieists/agnostics go to GA but forget the G word for a moment – when you went to that one meeting what were the people who weren’t gambling DOING? There is an agnostic version of the 12 Steps in the recovery Tools forum, it’s on the first page somewhere.
You achieved around 80 days gamble free, well done. What were you doing with your time instead of gambling? Stopping gambling leaves a void – how have you filled that void?
You can stop gambling. Your addiction will be delighted you only got to one GA meeting, your addiction will be delighted you think you can’t beat it. That would give it free reign to continue it’s progression.
I hope you get back on the wagon and do the things your addiction wouldn’t want you to do.
Keep posting.