Hi Monica
I’ve been reading your thread all week, and its been hard to read some things, and I’ve been at a loss for words which is quite unusual for me.
Isn’t all faith blind? Isn’t that how it works? I always feel sad when I read of someone who has believed turning their back on God. I hope that its just a temporary thing for you, didn’t God give us all free will and the power to chose good over evil. Or, indeed, evil over good?
I am far from being a devout Christian, I don’t go to church and I don’t say prayers. I do have faith in God though.
I don’t blame God for me becoming a CG, and I don’t give credit to God that I’m now in recovery from it. I do thank God for giving me the ability to chose, and for giving me serenity, courage, and wisdom when I’ve needed them most.
Depression Monica, as you know, is a bloody awful thing to sit with. It was your comments on JP’s thread that prompted this post actually.
You say no amount of tough talk will help, only loving support, that’s it. Some forms of loving support Monica may come in the guise of tough talk though.
I always write to people on here as if I’m writing to myself, but in that persons predicament. As you know I gambled for a long time, and over the course of the years, I’ve ended up so many situations that I see described in many threads on this forum. I therefore, a lot of the time, do have a genuine empathy with the person I’m posting to. Whether the words I’m using at any particular time are seen as tough talk, or soft soap, I don’t really care. What I care about is anybody suffering when it is so needless. I’ll always try and get people to see past the doom and gloom, but as you know that is easier said than done.
There are women preferred GA meetings in London. GA varies so much from room to room some don’t even mention the 12 step programme. I don’t think its fair to say it caters mainly for men.
Also Monica you say on your post that you sometimes starve because of your gambling habit. I’m sorry but I cant agree with that…no doubt about it your gambling has left you up the creek without a paddle. But you’ve refused to go to the foodbank, and up until a few weeks ago would turn your nose up at shopping in aldi and lidl. I’m not having a go Monica, just pointing out that your gambling problem didn’t prevent you from going to the foodbank, maybe your pride did?
Whereas you point out to JP that he has more than you, you have more than some others. Not that ithat’s of much consolation to either of you I suppose.
I hope things pick up shortly for you Monica. You could use the helpline on here to try and speed up your callback from GMA.