I had depression when I was 27 and I cope with depression using alcohol, food, work, sex, gambling and doctor prescribe medicines. It was my escape and relief from feeling down, anxiety, pain and sadness.
My acting out in self-destructive behaviors became a habit and addiction. My life started falling apart and very soon I was getting into all sort of troubles.
My depression and my addictions felt like a chicken and egg thing. Seeking help for my addiction did not help my depression. While seeking help for my depression, I stop acting out in one area but acted out in another area. There was a lot of frustrations, disappointments, and discouragements in my recovery. I felt very lost, helpless and hopeless in recovery. My recovery was really like a trial-and-error thing, I keep falling off the bicycle until I find my balance after trying for easily 30 years.
I am 59 years old now. I have lost count of how many years that I have not abuse alcohol, work, sex, doctor prescribe medicine, it should easily be more than 5 years, and I am also beginning to see long term recovery in my gambling and binge eating.
Always work in progress
Last bet: 23 April 2024
Gamble free days: 631
One day at a time