Hello everybody
So last Thursday day 29 I fell off the wagon and I made $150 deposit into my account to make a wager on the NFL game season opener. $150 turned into a $900.03 day sports binge that brings out the worst of me. It’s a little concerning cause I was doing so well I felt so strong about this quit. And like all of us I’ve quit probably thousands of times, but I felt like it was the one I had so much motivation so much determination to continue and last Wednesday with the season opener coming I started to think in my mind I can control it. I can manage it just bet the place I feel confident about. I thought that urge on Wednesday and didn’t make a deposit that same merge came back Thursday and I caved I thought it all day at 6:30 PM. I said I’m gonna go ahead and give it a shot. I know I can’t win. I know it’s unrealistic. I know I have no control over gambling and I know one that will just turn into many And I don’t have control. Back I don’t want gambling in my life. I’m scared because I really thought that was, this was the one and it makes me wonder if I really can’t quit. I definitely wanna quit. When I gamble I’m not really who I am takes control of me just like everyone makes me into a worst person. Worst dad worse husband I’m overweight out of shape. I never used to be that way used to value fitness and exercise and I still do but the gambling taste control and everything else takes a backseat. I really have to make this change in my life if I wanna live a healthy prosperous, long life man so disappointed. But that seems to be my one fault I do really well and then after a long break, I try to convince myself I can I can manage it just play a game here or there, but I’m so far past that I want to action every second live waging every minute action even though I have no real advantage it’s just the fact betting money. Truly a sickness my hope is that I’ve learned from this mistake yet again and I don’t know if I could do 29 days I can go even longer this time. I know my life is better without gambling. I’m happier I don’t have so much anxiety. I don’t get so upset when I lose I’m not glued to my phone. I’m just overall better person just tough. It’s not easy but I’m back day. One scared shut up nervous I was so confident the last 29 days strong. I feel like that was the one it just took one minute of complacency one second well I can’t really say that cause I battled her for like two days but the second day I shaved and I’m Ryan told me I could handle it. Any advice would be great sorry that this is a bunch of rambling and it might not make sense but I am doing the talk to text cause I’m on the road from work. Have a great day everyone and I’m gonna make a choice not to place a wager as it affects my life negatively.