Jeremiah 6:14
They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. “Peace, peace,” they say when there is no peace.
God tells us, you cannot heal a wound by saying it is not there.
My obsession – a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an unwanted thought, feeling and idea.
My impulsion – a sudden, unplanned, strong urge to do something with no regards of the consequences, safety and danger.
My compulsion – an irresistible urge to act out in something: to reduce my stress, anxiety, fear, and worry or to increase my good feeling such as gamble, alcohol, food, sex, work.
In the past, I want to take control of everything, I want to take control of my fate and destiny. I would undertake gambling risk, hoping to reduce the money I have lost. If I did not gamble, I would feel very anxious.
I fear that I would miss the winning opportunity. I do not want to regret not betting. If I am disappointed and angry, I will increase my next bet hoping to change the outcome with my next win.
If I did not follow my thought, my mind is like a spoilt tape recorder replaying the same message over and over again. After some time, I get very tired resisting these thoughts until I give up fighting. These anxious thoughts are causing me great discomfort and only goes away after I have placed the bet.
I could not sleep; I have no peace, I feel very irritated, frustrated, restless because my mind was thinking about returning to the place to gamble all the time. I could not make this unwanted thought go away.
Nowadays, I would spend an hour quiet time every day, I would meditate on the word or verse that I read in the bible. I would turn to God for help, I would confess to God my wrongdoing, I will talk to God and ask God to help me change, I will ask God to help me give up my ways and end with a prayer to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
I practice not listening to me, I, myself and all the lies I tell myself. If I was triggered, it just shows that I was losing my focus on God, I try harder to change my direction and fix my eyes on God again.
I did not realize that I was actually working on the area that leads to my gambling.
I can see that my self-control has strengthen and my obsession, impulsion, compulsion to act out in any disruptive ways have weaken. My gamble free day started growing to 493 days today.
- This reply was modified 6 months, 2 weeks ago by kin.