Hello everybody
Just checking in day 10 had a little bit of time to reflect and it’s pretty sad how much I allowed gambling to impact my life both my health, my finances, my relationships all those things. I don’t think you realize how much controller has on your how much you just crave that itch to do it immediate gratification. I don’t think you realize how bad it is till you take a step away. Take a step back. Been tough to except because I always took Brian and how I conducted myself and being a good man husband father I think I was pretty good at those things, but the gambling prevented me from being great from being truly impactful. And then when you sit there and realize how much gambling has taken from you and then you count up to years in the month and the days and the hours in a minute four days I was been up for 15 hours just on my phone, not constantly but throughout the day hour here, 20 minutes here, 15 minutes here what could I have accomplished in that time? How could I have been a better dad during that time. It’s a lot of processing a lot to admit. And now you add that and now it’s months years i’ve done those years goals. I want for my family and accomplished because I was spending 75% of my time in a phone watching a game making a bet again really a tough pill to swallow, but it is high opening is real. It’s the truth and I have to be able to accept that. I’m not in a position to sit there and dwell on because that was a mistake I made I can make the future better by my choices, but it makes you really realize like I was a good dad. I thought I still provided most of the time I still gave some of my time and energy not nearly as much as I could’ve.
And I’ll give you a little example this will probably help me feel a little better. My oldest daughter went off to college her second year at college. We first started the dad thing you know I want to have a house for us that was a goal. have a house, not rent own Here. We are 17 years later. Still no house still renting she’ll never get to experience her own house from me anyway that’s tough. There’s no going back. I can do better and ensure there’s a house for our family and the younger kids with all this one. I took that opportunity. I gamble from almost 17 years now of course the first seven probably were not that bad just a little bit of a game game there but the last 10 years man live in the gamble pretty sad.