Kin,
While you are a work in progress don’t forget to appreciate the progress you’ve made! You have never wavered with your journaling and your honesty. Your way of writing it very thought provoking and you are living proof of never giving up.
Your way are right about forgetting. It’s easy to do. I was always checking in on GT until I wasn’t. It wasn’t because I thought I had beat this…I know what I am and accepted that a long time ago. I guess my mind , which had been full to the brim with gambling thoughts had started to fill with other, ‘normal’ thoughts and eventually they took over. I don’t feel like I have relapsed as such, in terms of money it was a mere few bucks, but I opened the door to gambling thoughts and realised if I didn’t do something about it my mind would slowly fill up with them again, and I know if I went back I wouldn’t survive this time. The blocker was what I needed. The ‘choice’ to gamble has been removed. My means was gone, and I can move forward without fear. Coming back here is my therapy, it is all I’ve ever needed, which is why the app was never removed from my phone, never far away. It feels good to post again, and remind myself of how far I have come, we have been walking this road for 16 years Kin and a lot has changed. You have always been there for me and I am grateful for you and your support over the years.
Love K xxx
