Renovation.
I was unable to rest or sleep properly at home for the whole month of May due to noise from hacking and drilling from renovation work in my area. I have fallen sick twice during the month.
I also have to face unexpected additional expenses from new installations and new paint work at home because my family wanted it.
Work
My company has lost the contract to my work place due to expensive quotation. I will be leaving this nice and comfortable place in June. I have settled down and worked here for 17 months and I have to leave this place soon, it feels like losing a job. It is not due to my performance at work or my gambling so there is no need to self-beat or sink into self-pity.
Recovery
It was stronger than ever with the support I get from a new support group I just joined in May. I am connected to people who is serious about quitting gambling and they are practicing a recovery program and following a Higher Power. They have meeting on Tuesday, Friday and Sunday and it has kept me safe.
Current situation
Having an income every month is very important to me. I am living from pay check to pay check every month. I hope that I can adapt to my new working environment after new posting and stay employ.
Taking one thing and one step at the time, my top priority in the month of May has been my home and family, they have come first. Next was my job and financial health, it is currently very uncertain and not clear now. I am fearful and need to be courageous.
I have to turn to God and gambling support group more for support and comfort during this difficult and hard time. I have found rest for my soul there. I do not need to seek entertainment in gambling or other self-destructive behaviors to feel good and escape reality.
It is very important for me to live in the presence moment; I must stay focus on living today fully; I must not be distracted by worrying about the past or fear about the future.
The advise I receive from my addiction counsellor in our first session long time ago was read the bible and pray to God; talk to God and ask God for help.