Thank you Kin and Jasmine for your replies. I am heading towards 5 years gamble free and how life has changed from the old desperate posts. Those posts were all about surviving until payday but not really focused on stopping/controlling gambling.
I no longer desperately wait until payday.
I still have barriers in place like a blocker on my phone (these have improved so much) and I know these are for life.
I really wish the best for everyone who is struggling. I remember the pain and the panic, the desperation and disappointment and the wondering if I had it in me to stop. I did!. We all do.
Onwards and upwards everyone!