[asdfghost]

I’m f***ing stupid. Thought I could make it to May without any problems, just because I started to feel a little bit better…

I have no idea. Not a small grain of idea. Why my own brain works maliciously like that.

I have so many things to care about, and yet. It forces me to stay carefree, and then the addiction catches me in the most vulnerable state.

I want to cry. It’s been a long time since I did it last time, for the same reason as now. Why can’t I just stop being so reckless, why can’t I get rid of these awful thoughts.