Hey Kin those are hard questions to ask ourselves. I no for me that listening to myself the majority of the time gets me in trouble. My head always steers me in the wrong direction and my heart wants to fix the world so I always get led to the places I don’t belong. The concept of something outside ourselves like a “higher power” is a tough thing for me still till this day to process managing my life. However, it’s the only time I don’t screw up in my own life when I say just let it go and I’ll usually look up and say the serenity prayer. I no that as an addict I can’t control things because my rational mind isn’t as rational as I’d like to think. I consider myself fairly intelligent,as are most addicts I no but we have a glitch inside our brains that doesn’t make good life choices. Whether it be engaging in addictions or bad behaviors to elevate uncomfortable emotional instability in ourselves.I’d always say trust your intuition though as that’s a survival button we all have for a reason. The key is surrendering control. People hate hearing that recovery jargon but it’s the truth. The only successful people I’ve seen quit there addictions are the ones that constantly surrender there unhealthy control issues. It’s hard because we’re human it’s built into our egos to have control but the spirtual aspect we adopt helps us let that part soften.
